nott too sure...

Yeah, homecoming was one of the best nights of my life.
SO. FUN.
i thought things were going to change.
but they didnt.
turrnss outtttt..
evryone just needed to grind on the opposite sex the whole time;)
which was funn.
but didnt change too much.
ssooo i thought i liked him,
but probably not.
im back to just waiting(:

<3

whateverrrrr:(

POLAND

This summer I am going on a mission trip to Jastrzebie in Poland. And I can not tell you how excited I am to be going. I am honestly so ready to get out of America for a while.. thats for sure. :) Just get away from everything, and enjoy myself for 12 days with kids and people I have never met. It's just really exciting ... every day something excites me more. I have been able to get to know someone from Poland that is visiting America for two weeks. She has given me a lot more confidence to be able to even go to Poland. So when I go there, I will have a friend, and I just feel more welcome there now I guess. I don't know, but all the sudden I am so happy to be going on this trip. I guess this will be a great expirience, so you all have fun here while I am running around with Polish people :) See you all soon! PEACE OUT :)

:P

I can honestly say i do not understand you.

And i never will.

:P

crazy.

So yeah, I'm trying to figure everything out.
And honestly I dont know.
I'm so caught.
Why am i even trying to figure my future out ... I'm just 14.

This. Is. C R A Z Y .

Whatever. I'll wait and see...

Even though I hate waiting with a passion. :)

<3 <3 <3

I think that possibly maybe i'm falling for Y O U ,

there's a chance that i've fallen quite hard over y. o. u.

i've seen the paths that your eyes wonder down..

i wanna come too.

... i think that possibly maybe i'm f a l l i n g for you ...

no one understands me, quite like you do

through all the shadowy corners of me.

i never knew just what is was about this old coffee shop

i love so much, all of the while.. i never knew.

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop

i love so much, all of the while i never knew.

i think that p.o.s.s.i.b.l.y m.a.y.b.e. i'm falling for you,

yes, there's a chance that i've fallen quite hard over you.

i've seen the waters that make your eyes shine,

now i'm shining too. .

because oh because

I ' VE FALLEN QUITE HARD OVER Y O U .

..if i didn't know you, i'd rather not know ...

... if i didn't have you, i'd rather be alone ...

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop

i love so much, all of the while .. i never knew.

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop

i love so much, all of the while i never knew.

all of the while

all of the while it was y o u .

y o u

y o u

YOU.

<3

CAMPCHAOS09.

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.
I don't even know where to begin. Well I guess I can start off with I was at Camp Chaos this weekend, and it's honestly crazy. Since I knew CHAOS (our youth group) exsisted I was jumping up and down to be one of the "chaosers", to be one of the teenagers that stand up for Jesus Christ every day because of their undying love for Him. The ones that are basically a family of amazing teenagers. And just a couple days ago I got to go to Camp Wartburg with all of them, I am FINALLY OLD ENOUGH. And I didn't really realize where I was or what I was doing until Saturday nights devotions. We were outside in the forrest around a camp fire, we sang some praise songs like we had the night before, and our youth director went in front of the fire and talked about our theme for the week. BE DIFFERENT. BE LOVE. And told us just what that meant. And to be honest..lately I haven't felt like I am that close to God, and I have felt distant. Like something is wrong, something was missing, I wasn't doing something right. And then our youth director instructed everyone to write on a card he gave us, something we thought was separating us from God, a guilt that we wanted to get rid of. And on mine I wrote SELFISHNESS. Because I think that is what it boils down to for me, just being selfish. Thinking about me and only me.. thinking about how I feel, and what I want, NOT loving everyone as a Christian.. like our devotion was telling us. So I walked up to the fire and placed my card into the fire, and when I sat back down in my seat and I started crying.. I'm not sure why. I guess it was just the surrealness of all of this. I felt close to God, more then ever. I felt like I had just given myself up, I didn't care. And just the reality that I was HERE. I had made it here, to CHAOS! To the group I have been waiting to be in my whole life, to be with the young adults who I have admired forever. And everything was just falling into place. Being able to just get away this weekend to figure all this out, was incredible. I didn't know God could work in the coolest ways like this. And to know that GOD LOVES ME and is working in me, is so insane. I will never forget this weekend, and the amazing time and feeling I had. And I am trying as hard as I can to be self-less and to love God with my EVERYTHING, and to

BE DIFFERENT. BE LOVE. <3333

Love Like This.

Marisa and Madeline. <3

I haven't seen this girl in 8 months..

and I have missed her like C.R.A.Z.Y.

and I wish she could stay here forever.

and i love her. a lot.

<3

absent-mindedly makin me want you. <3

Well basically,

I have been thinking a lot about you lately.

<3

i like this.

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:


1. You are my best, best friend. And I have found out this past year that through everything you are the one that continues to stay by my side. i love you.

2. I miss you.

3. I have been thinking A LOT about you lately.

4. I have stopped thinking about you. . sometimes i still wonder.. but not too often.

5. You mean A LOT to me, and I'm not sure you realize just how much.. and you make me laugh harder than anyone. :]

6. You always cheer me up.

7. I love how you and me get one time a week were we get to spill about EVERYTHING going on in our lives.. I usually end up doing all the talking, cuz I'm annoying like that, but you ALWAYS listen. And that means a lot. <3

8. You and me are like NO OTHER, and when I get to see you once every week, i am complete ;)

9. You are my role model.

10. We don't get to talk too much at school, but when we do.. we laugh HARD. :] I think we are gunna be friends for a loongg time. Plus my family wants me to marry you. ;) hahaaa.

NINE things about yourself:
1. I am confident with who I am, finally.. I feel I have a place, that will all change next year unfortunately :/
2. I have the BEST friends. ever.
3. I am in love with music.
4. I get jelous pretty easily. and i hate that. PLUS i don't like to admit it, which i hate even more
5. I am really content with everything in my life right now, I don't really like like anyone, I have the perfect friends and everything I need. I almost wish time would freeze right where I am now. life is good. (:
6. I think a lot.
7. I don't let girls effect me anymore.
8. I love to be around people.
9. I LOVE JESUS.


EIGHT ways to win your heart:
1. Care about me.
2. Be HILARIOUS.
3. Make me feel special.
4. Listen to me.
5. Give me reasurrence when I need it.
6. Go for being my best friend first.
7. umm i love hugs and touching.. so yeah figure that out. Haha.
8. Definitely get along with my family. Thats a big one. :)



SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1. high school.
2. boys.
3. friends.
4. family.
5. what i'm doing with my life.
6. Jesus.
7. cell phone.


SIX things you do before you go to bed:
1. Wash my face.
2. Brush my teeth.
3. Get everything in my backpack for the next day at school :P
4. Set my alarm.
5. Get all the millions of blankets and pillows in my bed situated.
6. Listen to my ipod.


FIVE people who mean a lot:
1. mom and dad.
2. madison.
3. harrison.
4. brandon.
5. jacob.
6. marisa.
7. sara.
8. my cousin, Missy.
9. allison.
10. my whole extended family.


FOUR things you’re wearing right now:
1. abercrombie sweatpants.
2. volleyball t-shirt.
3. bra and undies!
4. headband.


THREE songs that fit your life perfectly.

hmm i dont know.. i would have to really think hard on these. Here are some temp. ones/ songs I love. :)
1. Girls Do What They Want.
2. My Life Would Suck Without You. :)
3. Fifteen.. i think that will describe my life in the upcoming years.

there will probs be new answers here soon.. :)


TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. Get married.
2. Open a beauty salon.


ONE confession:
I am very scared of these upcoming four years, I am very excited too.. dont get me wrong, but I'm scared and sad about it.. At times I could not be more excited to go to high school. But then there are days where I cry because I don't think I can do it, and I will miss people just too much. But I guess I am just going to have to wait and see what happens.


i have one other confession.

I am scared of dying. I know that is horrible.. but I just am. I love life, and I kind of don't want to leave it. But I don't know..I know God is in heaven and that is going to be the BEST place EVER.. its just sometimes I have a hard time 100% knowing that. But I know that I love God more than anything and He will always come thru for me and my life ahead. I am in love with Him.



Well i guess this quiz thing is now over. sorry i wasted your time, hope you enjoyed it ;)

hello.

Hello. I'm Madeline.

For the most part, I like who I am. And I pretty sure about that. :)

My true love, Jesus Christ.

I love to sing.

I love my family..friends.

I think love is interesting.

I love touching, in a non-sexual way..hugs.

I want a cell phone. desperatly. :)

Going to high school next year. :P

I change favorite color, movie, band, song, food, every week.

I love talking to people about deep things.

I'll stop listening and walk away if i don't care what you are saying.

I make girls mad.

I have a lot of friends...but few best friends.

I love confidence.

Listening to music frees me from everything.

I feel extremely loved when I hear someone stuck up for me.

I. Love. To. Laugh. but not to an annoying extent.

I'm not a big fan of most girls. at all.

(there are some of freakin awesome ones tho:] )

I would like to say that I am going to live in some cool place like

Florida, Mexico, or New York one day...

but chances are I'll still be in the Midwest..

maybe I'll wander off for college :)

I hate saying "oh my God!" but I am caught saying it.

Black nail polish? heck yeah.

I want to love God forever.

I go to the best church in the world.

I love making people laugh.

I hate yogurt.

I love people who do little nice things for people without telling anyone.

I love being cared for.

I want to dye my hair black, blonde, red, brown. I wanna try it all.

I hate bugs.

I love to observe people, I stare a lot. (: can't help it.

I can not stand being insuccure.

I hate awkward moments.

Rain is my only favorite that never changes.

I love blogging.

I want to own a salon when I'm older or be a singer, working in the church.

I wish I was a better writer.

I love meeting new people.

I can't stay mad at someone.

I love the number 7.
I'm definitly not a rich kid.

I'm niieve.

I hate when people are mad at me,

but I am getting better at dealing with it.

Facebook is way cool.

I say "I'm sorry" wayyy to much.

I hate tackiness.

I love iCarly, Disney stuff, and American Idol.

I love talking to people.

I'm very social.

I'm usually always happy.

I'll end up adding many more things to this as I figure them out.

And I probably love you. :)

love.

Why do I want this person?

Why is love so attractive?

Is love the greatest thing in the world or the worst?

I. can't. wait.

PEOPLE.

people are pretty stupid.

and they live to hurt you.

especially girls.

:P

..so i was thinking...

Alright...

I just realized. I can't please everyone.

It's near to impossible. . . and as much as I want to, as much as I want everyone to be everyones friend and for everyone to happy with me all the time, THAT CAN'T AND WILL NOT HAPPEN.

So I just need to rely on the friends that love me for me and the people I don't have to live to please every day. And I can not thank those people enough for putting up with me ;)

Last night I went to "Late Night" hosted by CHAOS (our church youth group). I just watched the relationship those teenagers have with each other. They are each their own individual and they each love each other unconditionally because of that. They seem to live so simply with one another. They know that God loves them, they love each other, and the rest is the least of their worries. And THAT is a cool feeling. I think if you can live like that, your life is complete.

Probably Not.

I am pretty sure a lot of people aren't too fond of me right now.

And it hurts. a lot.

And I'm really really sorry.

And I'm not quite sure how to fix it.

Some of me doesn't care.
But a lot of me does care.

I never feel like I am 100% pleasing people.

Will I ever be satisfied with myself?



Probably not.

My Life Would Suck Without You.

Madison came over today... She did my make up and made me look like a model, she shook her butt to Untouched in front of a window for everyone to see, I asked my brother where my volleyball was and SHE told me exactly where to find it, she took facebook pictures with me, she acted like a complete idiot, she made me laugh... i'm not really sure what i would do without her.

i

love

you

madison.

So I'm thinking--

Sophia,
Thank you for helping me start this blog thing.
I'm not sure when i will finally be successful at it. (:
But I'll work on it... hopefully.
LOVE YOU.
Maddie